April 2015 Newsletter
Are you fulfilling your dreams?
“How NOT to follow your Dreams” by Bel Pesce, a short talk given at TEDGlobal 2014, October 2014
Do you have dreams – or goals – or intentions? Are they fulfilled or lying dormant? Are there mountains still to climb or have you reached the most important peak and now are lying back for a while? Our dreams are keenly linked to who we are and with our life’s purpose, so it’s a relevant tangent to Human Design and fulfilling our potential.
No matter what state of completion or incompletion you’re in, this TED Talk has some words of wisdom about dreams and how those dreams get destroyed – by us!
Usually, I like to put a positive spin on HOW TO get to our goals. But Bel uses a different approach. So here are Bel’s main points on “How NOT to follow your Dreams”:
- Believe in overnight success
So true! Most if not all of the “overnight success” stories that we hear are incomplete at best. Sometimes fabricated and many times, but not the whole story. There are the years of practice, the schooling, the lessons learned, the money lost and made and lost again, the support of friends of family. There’s always a back story that’s quite a bit longer and usually more complex than the story that we hear on TV or read in a magazine or online. It’s really everything you’ve done up until that point that leads to your success. There are no short-cuts. Some stories may look easier than others, but it’s always persistence, determination and usually hard work that make the success what it is.
- Believe someone else has the answers for you.
Once you’ve got a great idea, then everyone has an opinion. They all mean well – usually. But as Bel says, “No one else has the perfect answer for your life.” So how can they know what will work for you? The answer is they don’t. You may want to ask other people for their advice just so that you can do your “due diligence”. But you’re under no obligation to take their advice. Many times talking with other people about your ideas helps you to gain clarity about the steps to take and how to take them. As you gain clarity, don’t let the “dream-stealers” take them away.
- Decide to settle when growth is guaranteed.
Once you think you’ve “made it”, it that the time to settle down? Take it a little easier than you did in the beginning? No, according to Bel, you need to keep going to assure more success. Because the reality is that once you’ve reached the peak once, just OK is never OK again. What actress is “OK” with a flop at the box office? Or which renowned author is “OK” with a less-than-stellar launch of a new book? The reality is that it’s actually kind of depressing for them – because they know that they could have done better. If you know that you’ve done your best, then it is “OK” and you’ll try again. Because really the only opinion that matters is yours when you’re following your dreams. The best route to keeping up the momentum is to keep working and find another peak or dream that’s worth your while.
- Believe the fault is someone else’s.
So many people come up with excuses. We hear things like: The market is bad, or they can’t find good employees or partners. Or the investors just aren’t there. If it sounds like an excuse, it usually is. Excuses, excuses. As Bel says, if you have dreams, it’s your responsibility to make things happen. If things don’t work out, there’s always some way that it’s your fault. So, take responsibility for your dreams. And we can take responsibility whether the dreams happen or not. There’s always another way that you can try to take a different route. It does take creativity, but there’s always another way to try.
- Believe that the only things that matter are the dreams themselves.
Life is never about the goals themselves; it’s only about the journey. “Achieving the dream is a momentary sensation; and your life is not.” Don’t wait too long to celebrate. Every step along the way is a reason to celebrate – or it’s a lesson to learn. When you finally get to the goal, it feels good, but it’s really only temporary. So enjoy the journey as much as possible – every day, be grateful for the gifts you have, the friends and family, the sun and the water and the Nature around us. And when you’re doing what you love, the work is so much less stressful. So – if you haven’t already – please do yourself a favor and find the work that makes your heart sing.